I was going to be a republican for Halloween but my head wouldn’t fit up my ass
Never get rid of the person who understands you more than anyone else.
— Mark Patterson, @Expherience (via kushandwizdom)
Everyone’s like whoa, ants can lift 50 times their weight. A fucking leaf is like 50 times their weight. I’ll fight an ant right now.
When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them.
— Lemony Snicket (via fairestregal)